Hayley's Story

I experienced my first encounter with domestic abuse at the tender age of 7, and the perpetrator was none other than my own mother. It all started when my brother was born, and I was just a young child. Looking back, I believe my mother suffered a breakdown, which drastically altered her behavior towards me. She struggled to accept and understand my tomboyish nature and love for sports, leading to unrealistic expectations for my appearance and behavior, and eventually escalating to verbal and physical abuse, particularly during my time in junior school. Despite my attempts to resist her control, the abuse continued, and it was only when my father witnessed her physical violence that he intervened.

The impact of this traumatic experience has stayed with me, even though im 28 year and a parent myself. I still find myself grappling with self-doubt and concerns about potentially annoying others. Because of my mother's influence in my youth, I made some regrettable decisions, including dropping out of college and suffering financially. However, despite these challenges, my mother sought help and embarked on a journey of personal improvement. As a result, our relationship has evolved positively, and she has become a cherished grandmother to my son.

Following this initial experience of abuse, I found myself facing another abuser in the form of an ex-boyfriend, whom I began dating at the age of 18. While the first few years of our relationship seemed promising, there were early warning signs that I chose to overlook. His upbringing in a controlling, religious environment had a significant influence on his behavior, leading to patterns of verbal abuse towards me. He manipulated situations to make me appear unstable in front of our friends, causing me considerable emotional distress. His behavior would be anything between showering me with affection and reverting to abusive actions, creating a cycle of confusion and self-doubt.

Gradually, he restricted my communication and manipulated my plans, effectively isolating me from my support system. I endured emotional and physical abuse, constantly belittled and controlled. His actions even led to weight loss and significant self-esteem issues. It was only when I recognized his toxic behavior and began to regain my sense of worth that I found the courage to leave.

In the five years since our breakup, he has continued to harass me, engaged in violent acts, even though he has moved on to a new relationship. Although his behavior has undoubtedly affected my ability to trust, I am now engaged to a kind and supportive partner, and am slowly working to overcome the trauma of my past experiences.
there's help out there, and kindness in the world. If your gut says there's something not quite right...please listen to your gut, as I have found its normally 99.9% right.

Domestic Abuse......

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